Skin Colour - Shadeism

This is a very personal and painful blog entry about how people’s perception about me was influenced by the colour of my skin. About being discriminated against by my extended family and community because by their standards I am dark.

I grew up in a traditional Indian family and among Indians skin colour is a big issue. We lived in Malaysia, where skin colour is a big issue among all other races. Fair, light-toned skin was good. Dark, tanned skin was bad. A simple example of how much this is ingrained in Asian culture is the portrayal of heroes and villains in movies. Tanned-skinned actors were portrayed as villains while fair-skinned actors were usually the heroes.

Growing up with this type of stereotype, as a dark-skinned person, I was assumed to be unattractive and even stupid. Because light-toned skin - good; dark, tanned-skin - bad. In primary school I was teased because I was dark. I still remember being taunted by my classmates and not being able to do or say anything back. 

In high school, a few of my teachers didn’t like me because I was dark. At the beginning of high school, all students were tested and grouped into classes based on our score (school policy). I think I did pretty well as I was in the A / first class. Halfway through the year, my class teacher, transferred me to a lower class (B class), saying that I didn’t belong in the A class. At the end of that year, my exam marks were good enough for me to be transferred back to the A class. Even though my teacher never said it out loud, it was with the assumption that dark-skinned person was stupid that I was transferred out of the A class. By the way, transferring classes in the middle of the year was not a common practice or even encouraged in my school. In my five years of high school, I was the only one that I know of who was transferred. None of the other teachers said anything. I was the only dark person in the class and I was the only one who got transferred.

Even among my extended family members, I was assumed to be stupid because I was dark. I had worked hard for my Year 8 exam and did well in it (7A out of 8A). My dad was very proud and at a wedding, he proudly announced my results. My extended family’s response, “How much did he pay to get her a copy of the leaked exam papers?” Their fair-skinned daughter didn't do as well in the exam, so, how could it be possible for a dark-skinned person to do better? Cheating, of course.

Another example: marriage proposal rejection because I was dark. A few well-meaning Aunties (Indians call any older person Aunt or Uncle even if you are not related to them) ambushed me with a marriage proposal, by introducing me to a guy who was looking for a potential bride at a social function. Only later I one of the Aunties mentioned that the guy rejected me as a potential bride because I was dark. It didn’t matter if I was an intelligent person with a good sense of humour. I was just too dark to be an interesting person. Indians! Don’t worry, I was not crushed. I told the Aunty that a guy who judges me on my skin colour is not worth it at all.

Growing up, I have lost count the number of times I was

• told to put something on my skin to make it lighter
• told to wear lighter coloured clothes to look fairer
• gifted 'Fair & Lovely' (skin-lightening cream)  as I ‘needed’ it
• told that I’d have to get fairer if I wanted to get married.

And I believed in it all. If this is what you are told all the time, you end up believing it. I believed it because it was the only way of thinking I knew. Because it was part of my culture, because of the conditioning. However, my thinking changed at university, when I met this a bunch of friends who did not discriminate or judge me based on my skin colour. Skin colour didn’t matter at all. Dark skin was neural now, it didn’t matter. Who I was was more important and we formed a strong bond of friendship that lasts till today.

Another turning point was when I when to Hawaii to present at a conference. There, I met people from all over the world, and people who considered dark-skinned people to be exotic and attractive. Five days there changed my perception about skin colour, from neural to positive. It was a good attribute now, something that I was proud of.

Fast forward to 2007 and I move to Australia for my PhD. I was so taken aback to see Australian wanting to be tan, using tanning beds, tanning products and sun bathing. Australians wanted to be tanned/darker while Asians in Asia were obsessed to be fairer (Skin-lighting products were the fastest selling product in Asia). Go figure.

Here in Australia, I am who I am. Skin colour does not matter. I am no longer defined by it at all. It is very liberating.

Why am I writing now? Watching this YouTube clip, made me realise that what happened has affected me a lot. That I am still angry about the discrimination, the teasing and the taunts. I'm hoping writing about it will help me confront these issues and my anger.

I also hope that any young person reading this can realise skin colour is only skin deep (yup it's a cliché). Skin colour is only that, the colour of your skin, nothing else. It does not determine who you are, how smart you are, how attractive you are or anything else. It's just skin colour, nothing else.

Who you are, what you make out of life, your success in life are determined by you not your skin colour. By you, only you. Remember this and walk tall with your head high up in the air.